mis_creation

...one, maybe two steps backward.

Yeah, that resolution I had to stick up for myself more? It sort of worked. Sort of didn't.

This morning my sister gets up, eats breakfast, and actually puts away the dishes. I asked her on Sunday if she would just start doing it instead of my or mom having to ask every single time.

So. That was the step forward.

The step backward is that she then ask/told (in that way of asking that you're really telling and all parties involved know it) me to take the trash out of our bathroom.

The bathroom that she spends at least twice as long in on a daily basis. The trash that is largely filled with her used tissues, make-up removers, expired/trashed beauty containers. The same bathroom that she doesn't clean ever.

And I did it. Because I'm an idiot and hate confrontation.

She does something for other people in the house for the first time in probably five days to a week, and she feels that entitles her to ask me to do more. I vacuumed and dusted the entertainment center (also Art Central for my dad's pieces) yesterday in addition to doing the dishes. And I HATE vacuuming.

So, yeah. Tiny bit of progress with the whole getting-my-sister-to-do-her-bit thing, but then right back to where we were again.

*sigh* Oh well.

I refuse to feel guilty.

I've done chores around the house this week. Mom's done the dishes four days in a row.

It's my sister's turn to do something. Turns out she's making krautburgers (I think that's how it's spelled).

It's not my fault or my mother's fault that she left her trig homework until 7:30 on Sunday night.

I refuse to feel guilty and do it for her.

...Damn it, why do I feel guilty!?

I was going upstairs to get something to eat and do the dishes. Of course, dad doesn't know this, but still. I comment that it looks nice outside, because it does.

His reply is that we should haul in the rest of the wood before it snows again and finish off the pile in the front yard. I tell him to talk to my sister about it, since I asked her to do the wood hauling from now on, since I've done all of it for the last few years. Except one load daddy brought in from the shop, all the wood this winter has been brought in by me.

And he looks at me like I'm an idiot. His excuse is that she works all the time, as well as going to school. Right. I know that. She bitches about it all the time. But that doesn't mean she can't do something around the house. I do almost everything. I do the dishes. I feed and water the cats. I clean out the catbox every. single. night. I clean up extra cat puke and shit when I see it.

Literally, all she does around the house is occasionally putting the dishes away (usually after half of the clean ones have been dirtied again), her own laundry, and the occasional Hamburger Helper meal.

He actually says, "She does as much around the house as you."

FUCK YOU, DAD.

How does he not see the imbalance here? Even when I was in school full time I did most of the housework. And in the summer, I do all the yard work. She's never once mowed the damn lawn, and I do it every summer. Not as often as I should, I'm the first to admit, but I do it.

She doesn't even pick her own damn hair out of the drain.

And now he's going to haul in the rest of the wood in a snit rather than ask my sister to do it.

I'm trying not to feel guilty about it, but I do. And I know he's going to be mad at me for it, because he doesn't see everything I do.

I want to move out, but I don't want to leave my mom here with both of them, because she'll be the one doing everything, or the one bearing the brunt of their pissiness when she asks them to contribute.

Fucking Libra tendencies. I hate causing strife.